TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) – People in Oregon are being asked not to call 911 if they’ve run out of toilet paper.
Over the past week, hordes of shoppers flooded stores across the nation looking to stockpile the household staple. Not only has this put a squeeze on retailers, but apparently police as well.
“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” The Newport Police Department wrote on Facebook.
The agency offered a tongue-in-cheek list of alternatives for those in need of their “favorite soft, ultra-plush two-ply citrus-scented tissue.”
“[T]here are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now,” the message read. “Plus, there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin. be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”